Tuesday, March 29, 2011
Feminism and Appearance
In light of the discussion going on at Fashionable Academics blog, I wanted to point you to my comments there about feminism and clothing. While one's appearance is not the be-all, end-all, I do think it signifies many things, including control over one's self and body, as well as the ability to control your image that you perform in the world. I have written about this in previous posts, considering that I am given an increasingly narrowed instructions about what is considered professional dress as I enter deeper into the professional world. This for me has provided one very tangible area in which my own ability to quirkily be myself has been subverted through my training. And I have often felt the sting, not only of looking a certain way, but then acting in a way that conforms to the way I look, which then further informs the way I look, and on and on in a vicious cycle. I often feel stripped of certain articles that might signify, in particularly to patients, but also to colleagues, my working class background. I feel this is done purposefully because many things which I might feel are integral to this background are an affront to the exclusivity of the medical system, both in training of physicians and treatment of patients. And I am constantly trying to work around it, because there is a certain shielding that comes from being distant from other through your manner of dress. And physicians, more than any other profession I can think of, need to be very aware of personal, professional, physical, and emotional boundaries. However I think this has caused the profession to continuously err on the side of distance, which I believe is just as great of an error. This error creates lack of humanism, and lack of care and compassion in the name of safety, which is never safe. Only by experiencing the full vulnerability can we be fully free.
Going public
I am doing it! I am taking the plunge and going from a private, invite only blog, to a public, 'out there in the great big world' blog. In reality, it won't likely make a difference, but it sure feels different on this end. I think part of the bravery is I am finally attached to a residency program and I don't feel like I have to hide myself from any and all possible scrutiny and/or someone not liking me. I will let you all know where soon, but I want to sign my contract first! I must say that having matched somewhere has lifted a larger weight off than I expected, and I am enjoying the feeling of breathing fully again. So, enjoy and I can't wait to see how this all keeps unfolding. Life is sure full of weird, wacky and wonderful things!
Saturday, February 19, 2011
Blog hesitancy...
Hi all,
I haven't posted in forever, but I feel this is about to change. I have felt a little bit hesitant to post while interviewing for residency, but this coming week I will submit my rank list, and then I will know the results on March 17, St. Patty's day, by coincidence.
The process of being placed in a residency is one that is kind of crazy. It starts with a generic application to the programs I am interested in, with all of them receiving my transcripts, letters of recommendation, board exam scores, personal statement, photo, and a letter from my dean of students highlighting some of my best accomplishments. Then I was invited to interview at multiple programs, as well as declined from others. In family medicine, most programs interview about 100 candidates (out of about 350 applications) for 6-12 positions, depending on the size of the program. These interviews usually consist of dinner the evening before with current residents, an informal way to find out the real scoop about the program. The following day is filled with multiple interviews with faculty physicians, the program director, and a resident or 2, as well as a tour of the hospital(s), clinic(s), and maybe some local attractions. All in all, a very full day. The atmosphere is such that I feel perfectly comfortable asking the majority of questions, and I have a lot of them. I can be myself, as much as possible in a suit during an interview. I think this is in part due to family medicine tends to be a more informal field in general, and some of my classmates in other fields have reported more stuffy types of interviews. Also, the programs, as one program director put it, "already have more information on you than should be legal", so they are more getting to know you as a person, and see how you would fit in with the culture of a program. They assume if they invited you to interview, that you have the basic qualifications needed.
The next phase, which I am currently in, is submitting a rank list. This is a list, in rank order of preference, of all of the programs where I interviewed that I would be willing to do my residency at. I must submit this list by Feb 23, so it is coming right up. The programs also submit a list, in rank order, of all the candidates they would be willing to have at their program. Then a magic computer in the sky does some funky stuff, and 'matches' us all up. If there is a tie, the candidate's wishes trump the program's. On March 17, at every medical school in the country at 11 AM central, we all find out what the one matched program is, and where we are going next. It is quite dramatic, and one of my friends likened it to the NFL draft. I think it is overly dramatic, but what's life without a bit of drama... I guess. Medicine does enjoy its drama I think. I do enjoy having ritual in our increasing ritual-less world, so I am looking forward to celebrating all this hard work with my classmates. I know there is quite a party in store for us.
Anyway, so I have been constantly bombarded with emails about facebook, and online presence, and it being a problem with compromising one's professionalism. While decorum seems important, I also feel that I should be able to live my life. I don't like feeling like I have to hide myself to fit in this square little box to be considered professional. Of course I want my school, patients, and program to feel fine about my personal/public interface, but I also wonder about losing some of my unique quirks and traits that make me 'me', to fit someone else's narrow idea of proper. I would like to come out of hiding, and I am thinking about placing this blog in the public view, instead of invite only as it is currently. I would love to hear your thoughts on this.
I haven't posted in forever, but I feel this is about to change. I have felt a little bit hesitant to post while interviewing for residency, but this coming week I will submit my rank list, and then I will know the results on March 17, St. Patty's day, by coincidence.
The process of being placed in a residency is one that is kind of crazy. It starts with a generic application to the programs I am interested in, with all of them receiving my transcripts, letters of recommendation, board exam scores, personal statement, photo, and a letter from my dean of students highlighting some of my best accomplishments. Then I was invited to interview at multiple programs, as well as declined from others. In family medicine, most programs interview about 100 candidates (out of about 350 applications) for 6-12 positions, depending on the size of the program. These interviews usually consist of dinner the evening before with current residents, an informal way to find out the real scoop about the program. The following day is filled with multiple interviews with faculty physicians, the program director, and a resident or 2, as well as a tour of the hospital(s), clinic(s), and maybe some local attractions. All in all, a very full day. The atmosphere is such that I feel perfectly comfortable asking the majority of questions, and I have a lot of them. I can be myself, as much as possible in a suit during an interview. I think this is in part due to family medicine tends to be a more informal field in general, and some of my classmates in other fields have reported more stuffy types of interviews. Also, the programs, as one program director put it, "already have more information on you than should be legal", so they are more getting to know you as a person, and see how you would fit in with the culture of a program. They assume if they invited you to interview, that you have the basic qualifications needed.
The next phase, which I am currently in, is submitting a rank list. This is a list, in rank order of preference, of all of the programs where I interviewed that I would be willing to do my residency at. I must submit this list by Feb 23, so it is coming right up. The programs also submit a list, in rank order, of all the candidates they would be willing to have at their program. Then a magic computer in the sky does some funky stuff, and 'matches' us all up. If there is a tie, the candidate's wishes trump the program's. On March 17, at every medical school in the country at 11 AM central, we all find out what the one matched program is, and where we are going next. It is quite dramatic, and one of my friends likened it to the NFL draft. I think it is overly dramatic, but what's life without a bit of drama... I guess. Medicine does enjoy its drama I think. I do enjoy having ritual in our increasing ritual-less world, so I am looking forward to celebrating all this hard work with my classmates. I know there is quite a party in store for us.
Anyway, so I have been constantly bombarded with emails about facebook, and online presence, and it being a problem with compromising one's professionalism. While decorum seems important, I also feel that I should be able to live my life. I don't like feeling like I have to hide myself to fit in this square little box to be considered professional. Of course I want my school, patients, and program to feel fine about my personal/public interface, but I also wonder about losing some of my unique quirks and traits that make me 'me', to fit someone else's narrow idea of proper. I would like to come out of hiding, and I am thinking about placing this blog in the public view, instead of invite only as it is currently. I would love to hear your thoughts on this.
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